*This article is free from all forms of artificial intelligence chatbot utilization*

For many humans around the world, alcohol is simply something casually consumed while socializing with friends, celebrating life events or holidays, and even in moments of mourning.

However, for hundreds of millions of others around the world, alcohol is consistently directly affecting one or more of the following:

• job performance/career path
• relationships (family, partner, friends, etc)
• physical health
• mental health

 

For myself, alcohol and I stayed fairly casual throughout my twenties. As I took on more of adulting in my thirties, I began drinking more and more to cope with self-reflection and societal stresses.

In time, I would see my marriage dissolving, more frequent work call outs, increased drama within family and social circles, issues with sleeping, weight gain, high blood pressure, and major mood changes.

I realized that alcohol and I were no longer compatible and that I needed to be done drinking once and for all.

Perhaps you can relate to this desire for change as well.

My full nine step guide to breaking up with alcohol can be found here, but below are the condensed five steps to quit alcohol and be done drinking for good.

 

Investigate inward: begin personal counseling

How many trauma-free, abuse-free, stress-free humans worldwide would you say drink purely for dopamine absorption, communal fellowship, and out of cultural conditioning?

There’s a solid chunk out there. They exist.

Now, what percentage of humans worldwide drink for dopamine absorption, communal fellowship, and out of cultural conditioning yet also simultaneously carry/battle any (or multiple) of the following?:

• Unresolved trauma/PTSD (war, childbirth, divorce, death, religion)
• Past or current abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, psychological)
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Health issues (by choice or not)
• Constant stress
• Mental illness
• Genetic differences (low serotonin, neuro-diversity, personality types that don’t manage well with alcohol or other substances)
• Relational drama/frustrations (work, partner, family)
• Unaddressed inner child wounds

 

For those of us going through shit or working through past shit, alcohol usually bypasses any good-intentioned drinking environment to incessantly antagonize our internal baggage.

We can find ourselves going toward alcohol more and more to cope with these very common yet complicated human struggles.

Sometimes we knowingly do this, but a majority of the time, we are oblivious to this habitual reaction.

In order to break cycles of addiction and toxic coping habits, we must first learn to love ourselves, forgive ourselves, respect ourselves, and truly believe in our worth.

Professional counseling paves the way for this growth and lays a solid foundation for the remaining steps to recovery.

 

Educate: become aware of how poisonous alcohol truly is

To be completely honest, I had no idea that every sip of alcohol is toxic to our body. Upon learning this, some past occurrences begin to make more sense.

Now, it becomes clear why nausea can kick in, and we can get to the point of vomiting. It’s our body’s defense reaction to expel the poison.

I now understand why we get silly, loose, or even obnoxious or fucking stupid—we are weakening our elite cognitive operating strengths with each dose of poison.

It finally makes sense why I nearly spat out my first sip of alcohol as a child or why any child, for that matter, cringes at first introduction. It’s our body properly reacting in defense mode.

We do get dopamine highs from eating delicious high-sodium comfort foods, sugary sweets and sodas, sexual pleasure, exercise, gambling, tobacco, video games, social media (scrolling, posting, getting likes and comments), sporting events, shopping, meditation, prayer, singing, church and community engagement, and from alcohol consumption.

However, the shitty thing about dopamine is that it carries no allegiance to either our success or failure.

Dopamine doesn’t discriminate between healthy/beneficial highs and negative/destructive highs. Dopamine gives exactly zero fucks about our physical and mental well-being when it comes to harmful consumables and toxic activities and behaviors.

This education and awareness on toxicity and dopamine’s role is essential to moving forward into a new life without alcohol.

We have what our predecessors didn’t have, and that is access to the most updated scientific knowledge and discovery for our species worldwide.

We have access to the data and results from extensive research done on alcohol. Our generation has the privilege of learning just how toxic alcohol is and that there are absolutely zero health benefits to its consumption.

 

Attend a non-religious recovery group for support

For many years, traditional AA groups have incorporated religious ideology into their premise and centered their recovery focus around a religious-based 12-step program.

I do understand that there have been success stories from the original religious-based AA structure, and I am sure that there will be future success stories as well.

However, as with developing societies in general, we continually evolve and educate and discover modern ways to address familiar issues.

As our world gradually moves away from outdated faith-based mysticism and into secular awareness and humanistic lifestyles, traditional AA programs are fading away.

Our generation is realizing that there’s clearly no one out there listening to prayers or requests or pleas for assistance. Therefore, outdated religious ideology infused into addiction recovery can produce more confusion, frustration, and cognitive dissonance and promote emotional and psychological self-abuse.

I was able to find an incredible secular recovery group that I attended a few times a week for about half a year. This group focused on discussing practical solutions to various human struggles. There were a lot of incredible testimonies, communal encouragement, and loads of valuable advice and information.

It’s imperative to keep “higher power” mysticism out of a process that requires 100% ownership and action.

We have to discover full confidence in our intelligence and autonomy, and tap into our innate ability to activate our superpower of resilience to overcome adversity and thrive.

 

Stay busy and form new habits

I would recommend making a list of activities, familiar and new, that you can do to fill your time. Spend money if you need to, for not all activities need to be free or cheap.

I’m sure that if your drinking was/is anywhere close to as heavy as mine was, then many other activities can end up being much cheaper than those bar tabs.

I cannot stress how important it is to avoid boredom however you must.

Make your own list of activities that you find exciting and go back and forth between all of them every day for the first several months of recovery.

By filling in your newly available free time and staying distracted, not only will you gradually miss alcohol less and less, but you’ll naturally start forming new habits.

Train yourself to receive dopamine via new choices and different activities.

After this time of reforming habits, the brain and neuropathways will eventually click back in sync. That cognitive fog will lift, and these daily activities and positive mindsets will settle in and get comfortable as your new lifestyle going forward.

 

Rebrand yourself

Throughout this recovery journey, a culture change has already begun.

Your body may feel several years younger, your cognitive processing at pristine performance, and your lifestyle and habits completely redefined.

Now, while you and your household may acknowledge the change, the world still remembers the intoxicated you.

Yes, poor choices were probably made. Yes, you may still be blocked on others’ social media and phones. Yes, there is most likely some embarrassing and immature content floating around out there. And yes, you will never erase people’s negative memories of the old you.

But there’s no point in revisiting or dwelling on those days. What’s done is done.

Your old identity is no more. Your old structure is no more. Your old operating procedures are no more. Your old purpose and mission are no more.

Nothing from then has relevance to right now.

You have gone in and flipped your entire life around. Rebuild bridges where needed and then look straight ahead to your new path.

Take pride in rebranding yourself, for not everyone has the courage to do so. Go forth and simply be the rejuvenated and reimagined you, one day at a time.

 

 

Just four months after breaking up with alcohol, I lost nearly thirty pounds, my blood pressure and cholesterol plummeted down to normal readings, I began sleeping through the night, my anxiety medication was finally able to do its job without alcohol’s interference, and I was back to doing life with my family.

A year after sobriety, I was a completely different human.

I had fully settled into new and healthier daily habits and mindsets.

I haven’t had a hangover in several years. I haven’t had a work call out due to drinking in several years. I haven’t had any massive fights with my wife, my family, or my friends in several years.

I am now physically healthier than I have ever been, mentally sharper than I have ever been, and more emotionally stable than I have ever been.

For those that find themselves getting pummeled by alcohol’s drama, manipulation, and regressive effects, just know that there is an incredible life awaiting you with sobriety.

But you have to want it, and you have to make the necessary choices and actions in order to experience those sunnier skies.

For additional suggestions and steps to quit alcohol and be done drinking forever, feel free to check out my full nine step guide titled “How To Break Up With Alcohol and Not Stay Friends: A Nine Step Guide To Leaving That Fu*king Drama Behind”.